French

"We have a house in France. We are very lucky because our house in France is very beautiful but it is actually Nowhere so we have to have to have a car in France too. Because of the car I have a phone call from our caretaker in France. It is early morning and I am half asleep.
"Allo," says Mathilde the caretaker.
"Yup." I reply sleepily.
"Vous avez un gros problème. Vous n'étiez pas en France le 22 Décembre étiez-vous?" "Were we in Paris on the 22nd of December?" I ask John who is sleepily snoring next to me. Then I realise that of course I wasn't in Paris. I would have remembered.
 "Non" I tell Mathilde.
 " Eh bien, vous avez une lettre d'une compagnie d'assurance Parisien dire que vous étiez dans un accident de voiture le 22 Décembre à Paris.says Mathilde.
 "Oui." I say "Non, c'est pas possible nous etions a Londres le 22nd Decembre. C'est tres extrordinaire.""
"Je sais," says Mathilde "je vais vous envoyer le courrier." 
I don't know what a courrier is. Courrier .... cyclist with very important package. Package? "Oui," I say merci beaucoup. Au revoir." I say.
 "What was all that?" asks John. 
"I don't know," I say "I think we crashed the French car in Paris when we weren't there."
"O" says John.