French Class.

I am going to French class ce soir. I haven't done my homework so I decide to spend the day learning some French so that I don't appear to be so thick when I hang out with all the intelligent people at the university. I learn the subjunctive, I learn the passe proche and I learn the future tense. I then forget the whole lot but I remember that to 'tomber dans les pommes' is idiomatic for 'to faint'. I am not sure how useful or intelligent this is.
It is 6.15. I have to be at French class at 6.30 but Maisie has not come home from school. Maisie is an hour late. I don't know what to do. When I phone Maise's phone it goes straight to voicemail. 'Hi,' it says 'I'm not there right now, or I'm not answering my phone soo please try later.'
I can't try later because I am supposed to be going to French Class. Where is Maisie? Maisie hasn't got an after school club today.
Maisie should be home. I text Siobhan. Siobhan is generally more reliable than Maisie when it comes to picking up her calls.
 Siobhan doesn't answer.
Maisie is clearly dead. She has been run over and abducted.
Maisie needs to come home quite soon or I will have a heart attack.
It is 6.30 when Maisie comes home.
I don't go to French class.
I go down the road to the Lithuanian shop and buy some crap wine and some bread sticks.
I have wine and bread sticks for supper.
John is on the Fast Diet so I don't have to cook for him as it is a fasting day. I have failed at the God Diet and at French.
 I am a failure.