Death

I am going to take Evil for a walk.
 I have had a text from Beth and we are going for a walk together. We will walk round the park and we will talk about Fran who has died. Fran was our friend but we were not friends with eachother because Beth lives in Muswell Hill and I do not, so we never managed to be friends although we had high hopes that one day we would have lunch in Highgate. This never happened and then we met again at Fran's funeral and this walk is the result.
I will take Evil on the walk with us because she likes to walk. Evil has mitral valve disease and she is dying. She coughs and sometimes she can't breathe very well and I give her 8 pills every day but the vet says she will not get better. Nonetheless Evil is coming around the park. "Walkies" I tell her clipping her lead onto her shiny red collar. I forget the pooh bags and have to turn around and go back into the house to fetch them. Evil sits like a small black doorstop, waiting for me to sort myself out.
Beth texts me. 'I'm in the park' she says. Evil and I rush up the road, Beth doesn't know our area, she might be confused by the drug addicts who walk very fast at 11.30 in the morning. They need their drugs and they need them very quickly so although they won't mug you they may crash into you in their haste to meet their dealers. I am sure this doesn't happen in Muswell Hill so I must not leave Beth unattended in the park.
Beth and I meet and we walk. Beth tells me she has just been on a residential Spanish course in Bilbao. I tell her I am going to do French classes at City University so that I can understand the instructions for the central heating system in our house in France. We talk about Fran.
Fran came to France with me and John this summer. She and Bill drove down between Fran's chemotherapy courses. We sat by the pool and shopped in Brocantes. We bought antique picture frames at a Vide Grenier and we sat in a cafe and talked for hours. "Do you think people can tell I'm ill?" asked Fran. "just by looking at me?" I looked at Fran. She is wearing a sun hat, her fine fair hair hasn't fallen out because she is having very special chemotherapy at a very posh hospital near Regents Park. She had golden skin and looked very pretty. She was very thin but so are lots of people. "No." I said. "I'm going to come down here next year," said Fran "I'm going to go to all these antiques markets and buy ceramics, you can buy French linen and we'll have a stall and sell it all in London for a huge profit." Fran held up a coffee pot she had just bought for 2 Euros. "Look at that," she said "2 Euros, it's amazing."I tell all this to Beth. "I didn't even know she was ill," says Beth.
Evil is trailing at our feet. We walk past the deer enclosure. Evil says hello to a dalmatian. "This park is so lovely,"says Beth. "much nicer than when we used to live round here." Beth used to live near here 15 years ago but she moved to Dorset. "Dorset was great," she says. "We had a huge house with land and all our friends came to stay, it was like a permanent party but then there was winter, and spring took ages to arrive and then it rained and rained and we decided that actually the country is very boring. It's OK for a visit but it's not fit to live in, not really. So we moved to Muswell Hill."
 I love Beth.
I get a text. Ellie is at our house. Beata is cleaning and ironing at our house so she has let Ellie in and texted me. Ellie is very sad because someone has stolen her Iphone and her boyfriend was a shit and they have broken up. I had better get back home to talk her down. Ellie has a tendency to need talking down. She is like a kite with a very weak string.
Suddenly Evil staggers and collapses. Evil paws at the air and struggles on the ground. "What is the matter with her?" Asks Beth. Beth looks very worried. "Mitral valve disease." I say. "She might die. I'll carry her for the rest of the way." I pick Evil up and we walk towards the park gates. Evil rests her head on my shoulder and relaxes against me.
Poor little dog.
When I get home Athena is sitting in the kitchen with Ellie. Beata has gone home. "I'll leave you to it," says Beth. "See you in Highgate. Soon?" She says. I am so glad that we have met up at last.
"Do you want coffee?" I ask Athena and Ellie.
They don't want coffee.
 Athena is my old neighbour. She is a Greek Cypriot. "Oh, you are like my daughter," she tells me. "I am having so much troubles in my family. I can't talk about it to anyones. You knows how the Greeks peoples are. They gossip, " she says. then she tells me that her son in law has left her daughter. That he has cancer, that he wants to be alone and that her daughter has a broken heart.
I tell Ellie that I have texted her Iphone number telling the thief that they should be ashamed of themselves. "Good." Says Ellie.
"I can't beleive there are such peoples in the world." says Athena.
Ellie looks very tired. "I think you should go to the doctor." I tell her. "If you don't look after yourself the string will break and then where will you be?"
"Doctors knows nothing." says Athena. "But what can you do?"
"What can you do?"



s