Plumbers

I am still in my pyjamas when the front door bell rings. I am still in my round glasses which magnify my eyes two or three times and I am still wearing the purple polo necked jumper from TK Max pulled up over my nose.
 It is probably the postman at the door and he is used to me looking a bit odd in the morning and I am expecting a parcel containing two new ceramic valves for the kitchen sink which I am pretty sure will, when I have fitted them, stop the grinding noise when the loo flushes or the bath runs.
I open the door.
It is not the postman, it is the plumber who is very young and attractive, with him is a tall handsome Pole. They have come to check the plumbing and give us an estimate for a new shower in our small bathroom.
"Oh," I say,  "umm." I step back and usher them into the hall. The house smells almost entirely of dog pooh and Flash Liquid.
"You see, I am very not expecting you, because my dog is dying and so she shat all over the kitchen."  I look at my watch, it is 9.30 AM. "It took me three hours to clean it up."I tell the handsome young plumber and the tall Pole with the ice blue eyes.
"Stay here". I tell them, and I leave them standing in the hall while I run upstairs. I pull off the purple jumper and stumble round the bed in the darkened bedroom to look for my contact lenses.
"What's going on?' Asks John from beneath the duvet.
"I've been cleaning up the shit for three hours and now the plumbers are here." I hiss.
"Oh, I thought you were watching television." Says John.
I pull on my jeans, I slap my lenses into my eyes. I find a jumper that is screwed up on the bedroom floor and I put it on. My hair is very dishevelled but I can't imagine that it matters so I go down stairs to meet the plumbers.
When I arrive in the hall the plumbers are still there where I left them.
 Phew.
I show them the tap noise and I show them the shower. I show them the dog.
 "We can sort that all out," says the handsome plumber.
"What, and the dog?" I ask.
"No, we're plumbers." Says the plumber.
I show the extractor fan in the kitchen to the tall, blue eyed Pole who has told me that his brother is an electrician. He has also told me that he can tile and is a cabinet maker.
"Can he fix this when he comes to do the shower room electrics?" I ask the Pole.
The Pole runs a hand through his thick shining black hair. He fixes me with his ice blue eyes. He smiles showing big, white even teeth.
"Yes." He says.
"It still smells of pooh in here doesn't it? I say, noticing.
"I think you will see," says the Pole, "that your dog has done some more," and looking, I see that, indeed, she has.